Friday 27 July 2012

Home Affairs – Putting The Africa Back In South Africa


25 easy steps to getting a temporary residency permit in South Africa: Life Partner Permit
Sorry for the long delay - I've been busy starting a business.  I'll write more about that later.  For now to catch you up on the long awaited Visit To Home Affairs...  Du Du Duhhhhh. 

What can I say about Home Affairs?  People warned me it would be an experience to remember and they did not disappoint. 
You go to Home Affairs to deal with ‘affairs’ of the ‘Home’ country, in this case South Africa.  If you need a Drivers License, Work Permit, Marriage / Divorce Certificate, or as in my case a Life Partner Permit (which allows me to live here and work here if I have the proper documents / job offer...), you need to spend some time at Home Affairs.  Now in most countries you would go to these official offices and pick up the relevant forms, gather your paperwork and stand in line or take a number.  Once your number is called you submit said documents to the official looking person sitting behind the counter.  That person might not always be friendly, but they usually know their stuff.
T.I.A. (This Is Africa) is a saying that a lot of people use when dealing with things that just don’t seem to work properly. Like going to Home Affairs.  For a government organization it’s about as unorganized and confused as you can get.  Actually I can’t say it’s unorganized as there IS a weird, mixed up, chaotic organization to it all, you just have to figure it out for yourself, each painful step of the way.
Here, I will outline the process as experienced by me, as a record for those who need to go through it, for family and friends interested in the small, hilarious differences between our respective countries, but mostly it’s for my own reference for the next time I have to go (joy!). Hopefully it will make it an easier process for anyone who has to go through it as well. 
25 Simple Steps To Getting Your Life Partner Permit
1.     Go to nearest Home Affairs Branch and look for the information counter to get any relevant forms and find out pertinent information. It's important to note that you might not be looking for a regular Government Office Building.  It could be a convenience store, residential building, or farm.
2.     Find the information desk is vacant (doesn’t look like anyone has sat in that seat for a few years) and wait for half an hour before someone takes pity on you and directs you to jump the queue (scary when you’ve lived in London where people lose their lives for that) and get the information you need.  Also the slots that contain the forms you need is empty, not a scrap of paper left.
3.     Jump the queue after half an hour of pondering which one of the 50 people in front of you is the likeliest to cause you bodily harm (it’s always the ones you don’t suspect so I kept my eye on the old lady with the twin babies strapped to her back).
4.     Ask the person behind the counter all your questions, or try to over the other people yelling questions, one of which seems to have taken issue with the fact that they’ve lost her passport.
5.     Leave only knowing that this branch doesn’t deal with the permit you need and you need to go to Johannesburg Central (a particularly dodgy part of town that most people would rather avoid) or Pretoria (town about 1hr out of JoBurg).
6.     Make a few calls to the Home Affairs Helpline who tell you that you can’t submit at Pretoria like you were told, but you can submit the paperwork at a different office in Germiston. They are helpful in telling you exactly what you need, but can’t offer specific guidance on the forms.  For that you have to call the Germiston Office, so they give you their number.
FYI-What you need to submit a Life Partner Permit:
-Application Form
            -Affidavit Confirming Life Partnership (must be notarized)
-Letter confirming the SA Citizen will support the applicant -both financially and emotionally (also notarized)
-3 Months of Bank Statements from the SA Citizen
-Medical certificate signed by a Dr. and not older than 3 months, stating the applicant is in good health and not crazy
-Radiology Report not older than 3 months, stating the applicant doesn’t have Tuberculosis
-Police Clearance from your home country stating you aren’t a criminal
-Proof of co-habitation before coming to SA
-Proof of mutual support before coming to SA (ie bank transfers, payments etc)
7.     Try without luck to get through to the Germiston office for 5 days, calling every 30 mins
8.     Finally decide to take your paperwork to the Germiston office and find out if you have everything in order when you submit
9.     Arrive to a relatively calm office with a variety of queues and no signage directing which one you need to be in.
10. Friendly man tells you that you will need passport photos and he can do these for you outside for cheap ('Sharp Sharp!').  Go with the man to a small tent outside where he does your passport photos while you wait – so handy!
11. Find out later that apparently you do not need passport photos…
12. Wait in line at the information desk, which thankfully has someone working there, where various people jump the queue but after 30 minutes you finally get to the front.  The line you are directed to is actually in another office, luckily just around the corner and upstairs
13. Go to what appears to be an apartment block… Like where people live… and go up to the first floor, no try to get up to the first floor because there are people (Queuing? Loitering? Giving birth?). Stand awkwardly for a bit, then push through until the resistance from the crowd tells you that you’re finally at the back of the queue.
Home Affairs Germiston - Yes!  It's also a residential building!
14. Wait for an hour on the stairs, where you can just make out a door, steel barred and locked. No signs, no one working, no one going in or out.
15. Realize that you don’t know the rules of organization and will probably die in the line.
16. Make a friend.  South Africa is a great place for making friends.  If you want anything done you have to make friends! Ours was a tenant of the building who ‘knew some people’ and said he would find out what we needed to do. Much better than the ‘friends’ outside who want you to give them your passport, paperwork, and R1200, so essentially your complete Identity and small savings account to boot, all wrapped up in a pretty package.  They would submit your paperwork for you, promise.
17. Learn the rules of organization: you have to be outside the office (apartment block) at roughly 3am, where the security guard would post a paper outside the gate. You have to write your name on the list, which would then be used when they opened at 8am to sort out the order of who would be first in the office. Our friend from the building actually offered to do this for us – nice gesture considering he didn’t even hint that he wanted money for it. We took his offer as neither of us could really bear the alternative.  Also, Germiston didn’t seem that friendly during the day, so I can only imagine what it was like at night.
18. Arrive with time to spare (just in case) for the 8am opening to see a big crowd had gathered.  At the rate it takes them to process one application, you realize that only about 1/3 of the people will be seen during the opening hours (8am-3pm), which adds an element of excitement and desperation to the morning air. Also anger for those who are just now figuring out there’s a list and they are number 401.
19. Try to keep it together (and air in your lungs) as the Home Affairs officer comes down causing an illogical surge of people towards the door. Even though there’s a list, he would like us to organize ourselves in two lines: Collections and Submissions.   Many people don’t want to do this so he tells us he will come back at 9am to see if we’ve sorted ourselves out. He ‘has all day, so (he’s) happy to wait’ (word for word, no jokes). Many people are waving money at him and someone even waved their baby in his face - not sure if this was to go for a sympathy vote or perhaps a trade?  Either way he wasn't budging.  No corruption here!
20. Suggest everyone do what he says which starts an open discussion as a collective group about the best way to do it.  The simple suggestion that since everyone has written their names beside a number, we should organize ourselves in that order is a bit too complicated and is met with blank stares. Someone got all riled up behind me and spit (say it dont spray it!) in my face, so I was convinced I was going to get TB.
You've made it inside! But nobody works here!

21. Eventually get called to the front of the group where we are escorted up to the locked room.  There we stand in numerical order (Yay! North American need for order and systems almost satisfied.).  The room is interesting, although sparsely decorated.  There’s an SA flag, a few portraits of SA Officials, a counter for 2 officers to process paperwork (although only one is in use some of the time), and a few old looking signs.  My favorite is the one that’s been printed with a printer from 1982 (with those little tear away guiding strips that you used to make little springy folded paper tubes with - come on, like you don't know what I'm talking about...) that says ‘Our computers are out of service, sorry for the inconvenience.’.  Wait a minute - if your computers were broken then how did you.... Never mind. My second favorite is the one basically telling you to ‘make sure you have certified copies of all your paperwork in case it gets lost, and there’s a good possibility it will.’

22. Finally you get in front of the man you need to see, the one who will thoroughly check your paperwork ensuring speedy and correct processing of your paperwork, who barely glances at your paperwork and certainly doesn’t appear check to make sure everything’s in order.  You are given a paper confirming your submission, signed and dated, and told that you will receive an SMS when your paperwork is logged – important because they will give you a reference number so that you can track your applications process, and another SMS when your paperwork is processed and ready for collection. This is when the 'Collections' side of the 3am piece of paper makes sense in a moment of delirious and disappointing clarity '...So...Wait, so I have to....Come BACK!?!'
23. Leave feeling like you’ve just run a marathon: exhausted but very pleased with what you’ve accomplished and full of dread for the Collections journey. 
24. Realize that one of the forms you submitted had a minor error and proceed to worry ‘Will this affect the outcome?’ and  ‘Will I have to do this all over again?’ for the next 9 months it will take them to give you an answer. Exciting!
25. Wait
A little update since we’ve applied: It’s been a few months now and WE GOT A TEXT! So the paperwork is somewhere in Pretoria.  Will start harassing them weekly now until we get our answer.  Just in time too as my 3 month Common Wealth visitor 'visa' just lapsed.  Until then, I just keep repeating my mantra: TIA, TIA, TIA…

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